Rated CP (Chick Post) Minor talk of body fluids. Major talk of headaches. If this post makes you uneasy, you might want to stay away for about two weeks, while I catch the girlfriends up. The talk of body fluids will increase.

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We probably should have named him Whisky.

My husband and I lived in Scotland when we were in our early twenties and developed a taste for single malt whisky while we were there. Last year on our anniversary, we took a ferry over to the city. The mist and the water reminded me of Scotland. On the boat, my husband ordered me a whisky sour, and we each had another at dinner, maybe even two, before walking through the city and taking the ferry home.

The rekindling of the Scotland vibes, and the whisky sours, had me pulling out our bottle of Lagavulin throughout the week. When I got sore throat taking the girls to swimming lessons on a ridiculously cold morning, I made myself a nice hot toddy. I’m pretty sure that hot toddy had something to do with me getting myself knocked up. If not, it might have been those whisky sours.

This is all making me want to take out the Lagavulin again. Hold on while I put aside my peppermint tea and go take care of that. Just a nip, mind you. I’ve got to nurse the wee lad.

Okay, I’m back. Maybe I should start at the beginning.

Does anyone remember this passionate post? Well, writing it was an important clarifying process for me, except I didn’t exactly maintain my clarify about wanting a third. It actually took me and the hubs a while to get my courage up to really open up the possibility of getting pregnant.

At some point we decided that yes, we were going to do this, but after about four months I started to believe the pregnancy wasn’t going to happen, so I started daydreaming about a life with only two kids and getting excited about a very ordered life where I had time to do civilized things like start taking piano lessons again and maybe even working again, instead of being the perpetual student that I am now.

Then came the hot toddy, or the whisky sours, and some sort of magic happened that started growing this little kid sleeping in his crib beside me right now. Pretty amazing stuff that whisky.

At about the time I got pregnant I started using twitter. I’ve been trying to go back in the archives to get the early tweets because they really capture what was going on. Unfortunately, twitter pretty much sucks, so I couldn’t go back that far. If I ever am able to access those early twitters I will add them to this post, simply for posterity.

HOWEVER, last night I remembered that I opened up a new blog on wordpress to write about my pregnancy. I thought I had simply abandoned it. What I didn’t remember was that I actually wrote in it for about a month. There were about five posts. Here is some of what I wrote.

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I’VE GOT SOMETHING GROWING IN HERE
August 22, 2007
I’m pregnant. I’ve known for sure for about a day and a half now, but have suspected it for more than a week–ever since I noticed a little bit of spotting on my panties and later, in the middle of the night, suddenly sat up and thought “implantation bleeding.” That night I stayed up until two in the morning googling “implantation bleeding” and “healthy pregnancy” and rushing down to take a prenatal vitamin, that I hadn’t taken in months and months. And then quickly after that came cramps, and fatigue, and headaches, and lots of lots of negatives on the Dollar Tree pregnancy tests, until yesterday, 13th day post-ovulation, when my very last Dollar Tree pregnancy showed a faint line. This of course, inspired me to run to Costco and purchase the sleeker, sexier pregnancy tests that do not require peeing into a cup and squeezing a little syringe. And yes, another positive.

So here I am. Pregnant, and feeling it. We weren’t exactly trying to get pregnant, but we weren’t trying not to. We were planning to, but not trying too hard. Which means as much as we wanted to get pregnant, we were terrified, so weren’t buying any ovulation predictors and basing our love life on that. And honestly, even after becoming pregnant nothing has really been resolved. I am still thrilled and terrified.

MORNING HEADACHE
August 22, 2007
One thing I don’t remember about my other two pregnancies is headaches. At least three times since becoming pregnant I’ve woken up with a headache. This morning was one of those mornings. Not nausea in the morning, just headache and a little bit of fatigue. Yesteray, I felt waves of nausea at least three times.

And I’m only four weeks pregnant…two weeks pregnant actually if using our common sense and not counting from my last period.

SIX WEEKS
September 5, 2007 by thirdtime
I woke up this morning and my boobs were suddenly humongous. This after a night of going waking up at least five times in the early hours in the morning and feeling bloated and like I had to pee, even though I couldn’t….This morning marked six weeks. Right on schedule. Boom- breasts big. Bam-bam.

ICKY
September 9, 2007
That’s generally how I’ve been feeling today. Just a general ickiness that borders nausea.

And smells, the smells. I walked into the pediatritian’s office and the smel of new paint engulfed me. I felt as if I was trapped in a can of paint fumes. I mentioned to the receptionist that they had just painted and she said, “You’re the first person that’s noticed today.”

Hel-lo.

And I wonder whether Rachel is sensing something. She kisses my stomach a lot and today she was weepy about not having enough time with me. I’m tired. A lot. And it makes me sad that I’ll be tired for a while. I’m feeling like I’m not doing anything well, including mothering, and that makes me weepy.

When I’m not feeling icky, I worry that something is wrong with the pregnancy. The joys of having a pregnancy when your old enough to have known so many friends and family who have suffered miscarriages.

WHAT’S THAT SMELL
September 9, 2007
Sometimes I feel as if I’ve turned into some sort of scent hound. I’ll be wandering around the house and I’ll catch a scent. What is that smell? Poop. No mold. No rotting food. I’ll look around and find nothing.

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And then I stopped writing privately. Then I had my ultrasound. Then I wrote this on the regular blog.

The weird thing about this pregnancy is that I didn’t notice implantation bleeding in my previous pregnancies. Also, the implantation bleeding came ridiculously early - like three days after I should have ovulated. Weird, huh?

To be continued.