Geez. I better finish this up before it becomes drawn out over an excruciatingly long period like the three Star Wars trilogies.

I want to be Princess Leah in that scenario. I definitely refuse to be yoda. (You can tell I never made it past the original three movies.)

Anyway, (no I’m not drinking whisky again. Shhhh.) where was I? About eight weeks pregnant? Something like that? My original plan was to simply gather all my twitters together and post them here. Then I had no luck retrieving the early ones. Now, I’ve gathered all of them from about November, but I’m suddenly shy about posting them because they make me appear to be bitching the whole pregnancy.

Okay, so maybe I was, but pregnancy is not easy for me and my tweets were a way of amusing myself through the hard times. I don’t suffer in post-partum. I am very good at labor, when I’m not giving birth to 10 pound 13 ounce babies. But pregnancy gets to me, even though on paper, I’ve never had any complications during pregnancy. I think there are people who have an easier time at pregnancy. I am guessing that this is true because I have an easy time with the postpartum hormones and I know many women don’t. So, I know our bodies are all so different. For example, never once did I ever wish i was pregnant again after having the baby, like a lot of women do. I am always so absolutely relieved and thrilled to be done with the pregnancy and that drives my first six week, this sense of utter relief and joy that the baby is in my arms and not inside of me.

I remember when I was pregnant for the first time. It was the first trimester, my hormones were going wacky and putting me through a mild depression like they do every first trimester. I was tired, literally, in my bones and teaching a class of 120 students with no teaching assistant. My anxiety was through the roof. I could not function without eating constantly from breakfast until about 2:00 and then I still felt sick. I couldn’t enjoy the food. And I had this male doctor who wore gold chains and drove a Harley. He made me feel bad when I gained five pounds in a month. More on him in a later post.

I remember that while I was going through all of this my mother said that I should just focus on the fact that this was all going to produce a baby. Well, I’ve been through pregnancy three times and not one of those times has the thought of a baby been able to quell the mild depression, paranoia, and anxiety I get in the first trimester. Hormones get me every time. Swimming helped a lot this time, but most of all, it helps to have friends and family reassure you that they know what you’re going through and help you countdown to the second trimester. Each pregnancy the countdown to the third trimester seemed quicker. On the other hand, each pregnancy the third trimester was more difficult for me, perhaps because each baby was significantly bigger than the last.

This is not to say that there was nothing about my pregnancies that I enjoyed. During each pregnancy I felt beautiful 75 percent of the time. During my first and third pregnancies I had wonderful second trimesters with tons of energy. In fact, this pregnancy I was so busy nesting that I didn’t even have time to blog in my second trimester. I was that in the zone. With each pregnancy I have been more excited about the arrival of the baby than the time before, knowing what is coming. This time I really couldn’t wait to meet the little person I was growing. And my belly, I really loved my belly more the bigger it got. Except this last time I sort of reached my limit at a certain point, which makes sense now that I realize I was carrying the weight equivalent of twins. I deserve to have bitched a little.

Looking back, though, I want to remember all of it, the good and the bad. Partly because it was so helpful to me to hear that other people suffer through pregnancy, too. I remember surfing the internet before I had discovered blogging looking for some indication that what I was going through was normal. But I also want to remember the bad along with the good because it was a journey that led to my son and I want to remember it like it really was. It is something I endured to create him and like labor, it is my marathon. I am proud of myself for getting through it.

Anyway, for what it’s worth, here are my twitters. I hope they amuse you as much as they amused me when I was writing them. I tend to do that, tell jokes that mostly only amuse myself.

One little side-note about this pregnancy. My kids and I were sick an unusual lot. I can’t remember a year when we’ve been so sick so many times. Also, the size of the baby made it a really rough final month for me. As I said earlier, the fact that I didn’t write or tweet a lot the second trimester means I was feeling great and taking advantage of it.

Enjoy. Next installment: The labor.
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November 12- I weighed myself this morning. It was a highly unpleasant experience. Pregnant women should not get weighed. They go through enough.

November 14 – Charlie is dry-heaving on my bed. I probably should do something about that.

November 15 – Whoa. Heartburn. Good times.

November 16 – It’s 4:53 and I want to have a bath now…(eyeing my kids)…but I’m having an expedia moment.

November 22 – Baby kicking after I helped myself to a plate of Thanksgiving leftovers. The baby sort of rumbles and purrs when I make good food choices.

November 22 – Cin-cin-icn, and needle and pin, a fatty and a daddy – that’s how you spell Cincinnati.

November 26 – The girls’ grandma has a Ghandhi doll that the girls have renamed Ryan. Ryan got in trouble for hitting the other dolls.

November 28 – Jet leg + pregnancy = a sucky day

November 28 – Why was I stupid enough to think I I wouldn’t gain 40 pounds this time, like the other pregnancies

November 29 - Headachy. Is that a word?

December 4 - Ultrasound this morning. Baby looks healthy and adorable. We did not find out the sex….cause we like surprises.

December 7 – So much to do, but suddenly so tired.

December 8 – You know how when you read Chinese Fortune cookies you can add “in bed” to every fortune for fun?

December 8 - Well, when you’re pregnant, you can add “in bed” to just about anything you do, and it ain’t so funny. Doing homework, in bed.

December 19 – Hannah threw up this morning. Fever up last night.

January 3, 2008 – Signed on to an internship this morning. I can’t tell you how happy the thought of working makes me.

January 6 – Feeling tired, swollen, heartburny. The third trimester is approaching. NOooooooooooooo.

January 6 – Dear Bladder, I’m pregnant. Deal with it. You can hold liquid. Stop whining. The baby ain’t the boss of you. Be a bladder, man.

January 7 – I keep looking in the mirror waiting for the glimpse of the attractive pregnant me. Not finding it today.

January 10 – If I wasn’t so busy nesting all the damn time I might actually have time to blog.
Well, it’s both nesting and napping. Nest, nap, weep nest. That’s my cycle.

January 13 – Major symptoms of pregnancy anemia today. Could barely make it to the store for iron pills. Kids and hubs were at a party . Sucky day.

January 14 – Iron pill made me sick. Yay.

January 20 – Overheard: Hannah “Pretend the fancy people are coming.” Just the thought of the fancy people coming makes me very afraid.

January 20 - See, I think six months pregnant would be just about perfect. Who decided it should be nine months.

January 20 - We still have no idea what this baby’s name is going to be. Everytime we discuss it, we get farther from a decision than before.

January 30, 2008 – Kids are sick for the third time in about six weeks. Who can I blame it on? You?

February 5 – Tired to the. Bone. Doing too much. And no one is paying me. No one.

February 9 – Sun is out. Perfect day for yard work. And yet….I mostly just want to nap.

February 10 – Can you PMS when you’re pregnant?

February 16 – Baby has been wanting me to eat more the past two days. I keep telling him/her we’re in weight-gain slow-down mode. Feeling good though.

February 20 – Did I say my kids got along famously? That was a nice planet to be on while it lasted.

February 20 – Trader Joe’s How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. 1. Your chocolate bundt cake and French Vanilla Ice-Cream

February 21 Just last week I was thinking I wasn’t looking too fat yet. What happened to that? And where’d my waist suddenly go?

February 21 – Baby’s head is down near my Pelvis and his/her feet are tickling my ribs right now. Seriously. Tickle-tickle . Weird sensation.

February 29 – Worked on an exhibit today for the first time in years. Fun, fun.

March 8 – Time to turn my office into a half office/half nursery. Half excited. There goes the room of my own. Better be a cute baby.

March 9 – Last night I dreamt I had the baby and lost it. Hannah dreamt I had the baby and we all rode on a bicycle built for five. Her dream won.

March 9 - by “lost the baby, I meant misplaced it. Stressful dream.

March 12 – Swam laps today after a three month hiatus. Felt a little like I was part beach ball but it felt good.

March 13 – It’s 10:19 PM and we’re out of Pepcid AC. Oh misery.

March 14 – Feeling sorry for myself. And my kids. Too tired to read them a book.

March 15 - I just googled “Greek boy names.” I’m not Greek. Can you say “desperate.”

March 17 – Hannah has fever. I have a headache. And the sky is blue. Spring is ovrrated.

March 17 – Sooooooooo tired today.

March 17 – Had a dream a few nights ago where I saw my baby. She was a girl, and she was beautiful. The real babe has a lot to live up to.

March 18 – Hannah has decided she never wants to get pregnant. She wants Rachel to and then she can be an Aunt. Not a bad plan.

March 18 – Just googled “pain and stretching uterus.”

March 19 – I’m just imagining that I’m developing a cough. Right? (She says as 4 year old is home from school for the 3rd day in a row.)

March 20 – No. I definitely have the cough.

March 20 - “If the baby isn’t cute, can we give it away?” Hannah

March 20 – “I don’t know how to be a big sister. You know how to be a mom, but I don’t know how to be a big sister.” Hannah

March 22 – Officially sick. Happy Easter.

March 23 – Hannah’s not used to me being sick. She thought I didn’t love her anymore. Sigh.

March 28 - My book club thre me a baby shower last onight. Sweet. No, really. They’re the best.

March 30 – Finally getting shit done. Whew. Maybe it’s because I don’t FEEL like shit anymore.

March 31 – Shit. I’m going to have three kids. It just hit me. What the hell was I thinking?

April 1 – Listning to a 4 yr old’s April fool’s jokes is like being on crack. “Mom, there’s a dog on your back!” “Mom, there’s a bear on your head.”

April 4 – “Sleeping more may help shed excess weight, research finds.” - That does not bode well for me.

April 7, I hate that my neck swells up during the last month. It makes me feel like a lizard. Can I hide until baby is out?

April 7 – So, it’s spring break and my kids aren’t interested in entertaining themselves all day while I sleep. Go figure.

April 7 – Seriously. These pregnancy hormones are making these kids so suddenly physically attached to me, I’m going nuts. Screw spring break.

April 7, Oh good. Baby’s starting to move around again. I was getting a little nervous and I’m not a worrier.

April 7 – Feels like my stomach is bruised from the inside in one area. A lot of pressure on that side. Ouch.

Paril 8 – Just go back from the OB. This baby is big, so they’re going to start thinking about inducing, or getting my body ready to induce next week.

April 10 – Swollen feet; belly so big I can’t sit up straight; can’t handle more than one or two outings a day.

April 10 – It’s 4:45 and I don’t know what we’re having for dinner.

April 10 - Called the hubs. He’s bringing home dinner. Good man.

April 10 – Eaesdropping. Hannah to Rachel, “I think custard is a beautiful name.”

April 10 – Rachel to me this afternoon: “I think you would make a great Mrs. Santa Claus.”

April 11 – I’ve given up on wearing pants. When the elastic slides down there is no where to go. My belly is too low. Wearing my old summer dresses.

April 11 - This weekend; Hair appintment; manicure/pedicure…If you feel like a pregnant gorilla, it’s time to be a girl.

April 11 – I was fantasizing about sleeping with no interruptions for two days straight. Finally, I put the kids in front of the television and slept.

April 12 – Thanks for the virtual babyshower! It meant a lot to me.

April 12 – Is it wrong to nap at 9 AM?

April 12 – What happens when you run out of steam smack in the middle of a nesting project. You’re screwed. Videos ALL OVER FLOOR in front of cabinet.

April 12 – Turns out some men don’t like it when their wives say they’re nesting. He shops when nesting. Do I call that hunting and gathering?

April 13 – Sleep deprived.

April 13 - So, why are they making a big deal of out this “first pregnant man” if he has a uterus and a vagina. Duh. Misleading headline.

April 14 - Went to orthodontist for a routine visit and ended up getting my braces taken off. They were supposed to come off in July. Cooool

April 14 - I’m getting so much pressure on my bum (oh hell, I’ll just say rectum) that it actually feels like I’ve already given birth.

April 14 - Are these contractions? I had to be induced with my other two, so I just don’t know. They can’t be. I have too much to do

April 15 - Holy hemorrhoids, batman. This is a first; I have ice on my ass BEFORE giving birth. Are you glad you’re not pregnant? Baby dropped I guess.

April 15 - @MsIndigo - No.I don’t think I’m in labor, but I moved my OB appt. for today and am finalizing the packing of the bags, just in case….

-because there are signs this could be pre-labor, sincee it’s pregnancy #3. Sorry to be so dramatic. I don’t feel ready. Nervous.Tons to do. 12:50 PM April 15, 2008

I’m not in labor. 2-3 cm dilated. Could be soon; could be in two weeks. I’m going to focus on getting things done. No more drama queen. 09:21 PM April 15, 2008

Feeling scared of the unknown. Saying a prayer. 11:06 PM April 16, 2008 from web

Labor started and Rachel just came home from friend’s house with stomach flu. What was plan C again? 05:38 AM April 18, 2008

Was in hospital twice for “false” labor. Now home, still pregnant. Stomach flu. Miserable. 07:28 AM April 19, 2008

Feeling recovered from prodromal labor, sleep deprivation, and nausea. Now maybe I can nest and relax until the big day comes. Phew. 10:29 AM April 20, 2008

Oh…and did I mention Hannah’s showing signs that she caught Rachel’s stomach flu. Could be in for a long night. 07:04 PM April 20, 2008

Hannah just threw up. Please send vibes to baby that he/she has to hold off for at least 24 hours or more….even a week at this rate. 08:11 PM April 20, 2008

Off to weekly doctor’s appointment. We’ll see how that cute cervix of mine is doing. 09:42 AM April 22, 2008

Watching the PA primary results. Hannah just said, “I want to vote for you Mommy.” “Okay,” I said. “And the baby,” she said. 06:28 PM April 22, 2008

Okay. My closet project has turned into a three closet, summer/winter clothes exchange blow-out for girls and I. It’s chaos. 11:12 AM April 27,

Membrames swept this morning. Induction scheduled for tomorrow. Wish me luck. 11:29 AM April 28, 2008

How to lose 25 pounds in a week: Have a whopping baby boy. Baby Boy Raehan born April 29/10 lbs 13 ounces. No time to post yet-will do soon. 10:32 AM May 04, 2008

Using a certain amazon.com Gift Certificate!!! Thank you blog friends! Will let you know what I got. 10:33 AM May 04, 2008

Do people really die without sleep? Just wondering. 01:32 PM May 05, 2008 from web

Why am I still nesting? 10:36 AM May 06, 2008

Getting quite attached to this sweet baby boy. Life is good. 11:10 AM May 06, 2008

This baby eats..a lot. I mean pretty much all the time. Hence my absence from the internet. 09:28 PM May 12, 2008

Something I’ve learned these past two weeks: nurses LOVE big baby boys….LOVE them. 11:03 AM May 14, 2008

Over 100 degrees today…and I have to do school pick-up with baby in tow. 11:13 AM May 15, 200

Where the crap did May go? Actually, what happened to April, for that matter? 06:35 PM May 17, 2008

Must nap while baby naps. Why can’t I do that? 12:35 PM May 19, 2008

Baby smiled at me this morning. And rolled over yesterday, front to back. 11:46 AM May 23, 2008

When will I stop smelling like sour milk? 03:49 PM May 26, 2008

Three kids and I just finished line dancing to a Mick Jagger tune. 05:19 PM May 26, 2008 (I’m not a huge Mick Jagger fan. It just happened to be on. Funny.)

The baby slept a TON last night. Four hours straight, then five, then two, and now a nap. Praise the Lord. 09:54 AM May 28, 2008

Do boy babies that use pacifiers grow up preferring silicone breasts? 10:42 PM June 04, 2008

Packing up 3 and 4 year old girls clothes to give to Rachel’s teacher who has a little girl. *Sniff* I will NOT have a 4th child. Repeat. 02:00 PM June 16,