Hannah is a climber and my patience is starting to wear thin. She climbs onto the coach and then stands and bounces. Or…she’s climbing onto the chairs at the kitchen table, except she’s only 15 months old and still is oblivious to the fact that if she falls, she’ll get hurt. She climbs atop the ladder on our Little Tykes slide and stands. Not only that, she leans her body towards me and expects me to catch her. I’m at my wits end. What do I do? Get rid of the chairs. Let her fall? Pull out my hair?

Hannah, I’m warning you, “You’re heading the right way for a smacked bottom.” (A favorite line of ours from Shrek; except Rachel’s version of the line is “I hope you are heading the right way for a smack on the bottom.”)

Another family favorite is: “You’re driving you’re mama crazy.” (In a fake Italian accent)

Note to reader: No, I don’t spank my kids.