Since when has it become standard practice for parade participants to throw prizes at the onlookers.

As we sat in the shade, right by horse poop, watching all sorts of parade dogs eat that horse poop, we were showered with candy of every sort, bubbles, little American flags, pencils, tennis balls, leaflets, coupons, a very large and impressive gymnastics medal, one blue balloon, one fireman’s hat and I’m sure I’m forgetting something else.

The American flags had big “Made in China” stickers on them. No comment.

The bubbles, I knew, would be a problem. Hannah has a habit of spilling them…on purpose. And she did deliberately pour her bubbles on the street to form a puddle.

Then she wiped the puddle up with her little poncho before I could stop her.

“Mommy! My poncho is wet.”

“Yes, it is, because you wiped your bubbles with it.”

“Mommy! Where are my bubbles?”

“You poured them out on the street (starting to laugh a little).”

“Mommy, you hurt my feelings.”

All in all, it was a fine parade. It’s the first Fourth of July we’ve spent at home in five years. How about that? We have been spending the rest of the day like wimps, barbequing at home with grandpa here, getting the girls to bed on time, and missing out on fireworks.

And to prove we are wimps, our German Shepard, who should be protecting us, is officially freaking out at the fireworks she’s hearing with her bionic ears.

This next part is for the parade organizers. A quick series of comments on the parade.

Music? Good. Could have used more. The mariachi bands were especially skilled.

Dancing? Very enjoyable. Would have enjoyed more dancing. The mariachi dancers were especially skilled.

Schools and non-profit organizations? Cute. Keep up the good work.

Veterans? Inspiring. We clapped.

Peace-niks? Quite a display of paper cranes. How long did it take you to do that? I was impressed. Try to have more fun though. A lilttle humor will take you a long way.

WWII artillerary vehicles from an unheard of museum 10 hours away? Interesting, but 10 tanks would have fit the bill. I’m afraid fifty was….(yawn).

Politicians who took TWO turns down the parade route? Do you think we’re stupid?

Woman who handed my husband one balloon, unsolicited, and said, “There. You decide which one [child] gets it!”? Huh?

Little gymnastics girl who put a humongous medal around Hannah’s neck and said, “You’re a superstar!”? Can we adopt you?

Hannah sharing that medal with big sister? A++

Stange, unidentifiable group dressed in Viking costumes? Carry a sign. Who were you? Your strangeness unsettled me and so did your bull mastiff.

76 trombones? No. Not quite. Not even close. Maybe next year?

Hope you all had a wonderful 4th of July, American or not!

My dog is staring at me,…like I can stop the fireworks or something. I have to go baby her. I don’t want to hurt her feelings or anything.

Now please tell me something interesting you saw today.