I was trying to get Hannah down for a nap this afternoon before picking Rachel up. She was tired, but fidgety. She keep chewing on her raggedy security blanket, and then whispering to herself. I was lying down with her. She made her way down to my side of the bed. I had my head on the bottom of the bed. She smiled. I opened my mouth to tell her to put her head back down on her pillow. Then she put her face so close to mine I could feel the wetness of her breath, and she whispered, “I’m proud of you. I love you very much.”

After picking Rachel up from school this afternoon, I took the girls to the car deler to do a test drive with the mechanic so he could do an analysis of a sound we’ve been hearing. Rachel was a bit grumpy before the drive, and when we were done I turned to her, looked over at her sleeping sister. I told her we’d drive home and let Hannah finish her nap in the car. I told her we could hang out and get a rest because I knew that she (Rachel) was tired.

Rachel said, “Do you know why I’m tired? I have two things things that are making me tired. One is that yogurt raisens keep falling out of my lunch box. The second thing that’s making me tired is this dirty old car.”

Every night at about 11:00, before I head to bed, I go into Hannah’s bedroom, gather her sleeping body into my arms, and sit her semi-conscious body on the potty, so she can get through the night without wetting her pull-up. She’s usually sleeping as I carry her limp, long body in my arms and I wonder, as we pass the bathroom mirror, how much longer I have of this. How much longer will I have her in my arms at 11:00.

Loving her is such a physical experience. She is a sensual soul, and loving her is something for the senses. I find it hard to write about.

But there’s a piece of it.

Okay, this is how I see it. This blog is my place to write about my kids with passion and intensity. I won’t leave comments open here because I have the other blog for comments and I am very obsessive about checking for comments. I don’t need another blog to obsess over. The posts from this blog will feed onto the sidebar of the other blog so you can see when I’ve updated. You can also subscribe to this and emails will be sent to tell you when I’ve updated.

Thanks Leanne!!!

Silly me! Another blog.

Testing.