This morning, 6:30 A.M.

Sound of my kids happily playing.

Two minutes later, Hannah is in my room and telling me that Rachel is slamming the door on her and not letting her in.

I call Rachel in and talk to her. I call Hannah in and talk to her.

They return to their rooms.

A minute later, more fighting.

I call them in again.

Process repeats at least two more times.

Hannah goes into her own room. She starts singing a song about not letting Rachel in her room. The song morphs into Jingle Bells.

Rachel starts singing along and adds a twist.

“Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way, Oh what fun it is to ride on a two-sisters-love-each-other sleigh.”

She starts laughing and singing it louder. They both start singing it.

They finish. Rachel says, “I love you, Hannah.” Hannah says, “I love you, too.”

They play together happily.

Five minutes later, another fight begins.

I get out of bed.

Rachel: When I grow up I want to celebrate Christmas and Hanukkah. (pause) And then if I marry someone that celebrates Kwanza I’ll get to celebrate all three.

Overheard in the last ten minutes.

++++++++++

Hannah to Rachel: You’re not my best friend anymore.

Rachel to Hannah: (In a not-so-nice tone) Well, you’re always going to HAVE to be my best friend.

+++++++++

Hannah: (starts suddenly singing Let it Shine) This little light of mine….I’m going to let it shine. (Stops singing) I don’t WANT to let it shine.

We are driving home from school.

Rachel: Why did you move into that lane and then this lane?

Me: Well, I know that this lane is going to stay clear and the other one is going to slow down.

Rachel: How do you know that?

Me: (I go into long lecture about how many times I’ve driven this route. Out loud, I try to roughly calculate the number of times I’ve driven the route.)
….so I’ve probably driven this route between 1000 to 2000 times.

Rachel: Or maybe 5000 times!!

Me: Well, maybe….

Rachel: No, wait. It can’t be 5000 times because tea was invented 5000 years ago.

*You know that the joke is not about homeschooling, but about the communication between me and my daughter, right? Good.

Hannah: I’m in charge?

Rachel: No, Hannah you are NOT in charge. When you get married you’ll be in charge.

We are listening to an NPR program where a rep from an eco-friendly non-profit organization is being interviewed. The rep is saying that they are a “hip” organization, rather than a “hippie” organization. He then says something like, “Not that there is anything wrong with Hippies, it’s just that the word Hippie has negative connotations…”

Rachel pipes up: “What does negative mean?”

Me: “not good”

Rachel: “At school we have the negative number chart.”

Me: “Oh. Well in math negative has another meaning” (I give a long-winded example) “Let’s say you want to buy something that’s $2, but you have $0. You ask if you can borrow $2 until your next allowance. You get the $2, buy the item. Now you have negative $2, until you can pay me back. Then you will have $0 again.

(pause)

Rachel: (In sort of a dreamy state) “Mom? I have something to tell you. Can I have two dollars?